I remember it was summer school time at good ol' Florin High School. It was my sophomore year. Junior year was coming but I had to take some classes to satisfy unit requirements. Walking across the quad I saw the most fantastic girl I have ever seen. She looked like a movie star. She was nothing like the other girls I've seen at Florin. She moved in slow motion. Her name was Laura. She was light skinned with green eyes and long flowing hair, nice slender body with T & A (more T than A). She went to Florin because her all girls private school did not have a summer school program. Man, I was in love; well puppy love at first sight. I'm usually hesitant about talking to girls but I had to holler at her. I couldn't miss this opportunity. So I got her number, I even remember the little note she gave me with her number saying something like "call me this weekend, love, Eyes". The cool part about it was she was digging me too. Never had a girl I was digging, whom I thought was "the one", like me back; all I ever had were crushes and infatuations, friends. So we talked on the phone that weekend for hours, til the break of dawn. I don't even remember what we babbled about verbatim but you know how those high school B.S. conversations go. I think we actually did the "you hang up, no you hang up" routine at the end; corny I know but we were kids in puppy love. After that convo it was on. I couldn't wait to see her that Monday, never wanted to go to school so bad in my life.
That 4th of July holiday my friend was having a get together at his house. She was going to come and all my friends, who I was hanging around with at the time, were gonna be there. So I get there early to help out and hang out, anticipating her to come. All of a sudden one of my friends tells me "she" has arrived. She looked so cute in her shorts (or was it a skirt?). When she came in I was in the back yard talking to my friend and helping out with stuff so when she came thru I acknowledged her from a far with a nod and continued to work/talk. I guess this didn't sit well with her. My whole idea was I was going to hang/help out wit my boys in the day but kick it with her during nightfall; young and dumb idea. I didn't share this with her, so maybe she thought I wasn't stuntin her anymore or ignoring her on purpose but she began talking to my boy Phil, who would always bring up how fine she was on occasion to me, so rather he was hollering at her. Basically by the end of the night my plans were foiled by my crush influenced friend because when I asked if she wanted to go do something when night had fell she told me she was going to do something with Phil. I was stunned and baffled. What the hell is she talking about? I sat on one of the benches, be side myself. I never understood girls at that point or maybe I was just on my own penis so much that I knew I had her, wrong. But then again she lied to me and made me feel like she was digging me. If we were adults, more communication would have occurred but I'm sure in our young minds we both assumed shit and therefore never hooked up again after that night.
Well I went home early after that. My boys were urging me to stay but I couldn't take it. My heart was broken, by Laura's and Phil's' deception. In the playa's guide I couldn't really hate, but in the friendship hand book of etiquette I thought that was wrong of Phil. When I got home, back then we had this TV program called the BOX where people could call in to watch the videos they wanted to see. Well for some crazy reason Brian McKnight's One Last Cry played like 8 times in a row that night. I teared up for a minute, listening to this song over and over again, but that was it. I moped around the house for the rest of that weekend, examining that 4th of July; my "should have dones" and "should not have dones".
The next school day I saw Phil and Laura holding hands, Phil works fast. I hid in the bathroom to avoid them. I can not explain the pain I felt in my chest (or maybe I can). It felt like someone actually went thru my chest with their hand, pumped my heart faster and faster, squeezed it, pulled it out and put it back in but upside down. I started to get hot and sweaty and angry.
Me and Phil would get rides from our friend Benny from school. I would have to sit there by the guy I used to call "friend"; I gave him the silent treatment. I remember one time he told me something to the effect of "me and Laura are together so that's something your going to have to get over but I still want to be friends." I thought that was B.S. and insensitive. I still gave him the silent treatment. I never talked to Laura ever again after that. I didn't think she was worth my time for doing something so scandalous; for being a liar, a deceiver. In fact it made me sick every time I saw her or heard her voice.
Epilogue.
I eventually got over it after maybe 3 or 4 months. Phil and I rekindled our friendship, but I did look at him in a different way from then on, I could only trust him so much. So how do u get over one girl who stepped on your heart? By dating a bunch of girls. This jump started my playa playa mode. I figured if girls were so easy to shift gears and be stupid I would treat them as such. I took my anger and hurt out on them and dated; a lot. Went to a lot of high school games and malls and just collected numbers. This attitude quickly deflated after high school, but the playa playa mode remained, having more girls was just funner.
But the pattern of close friends dating my "leftovers" would continue through out my career (another story or stories). And my pattern of being hurt and betrayed would continue. But one thing I'm glad I didn't do was stop trying to find "the one". I figured eventually one of these girls would meet my standards. So far not so good.
full
optimistic
I was waiting for one of these for a long time...thank you.